“…But you are worth ten thousand of us now” (II Samuel 18:1-3).
This was statement from the combatant followers of King David. When David was planning to go with them into a fiery war, they rejected his bidding because ‘a king must not die on the warfare’. They placed value on his live. The death of a king meant defeat to the nation at that time. Our lives have worth/value. God adds value to everyone He created. He made us in His own image, not with instinct like animals but with living soul from His breath to be intellectual, spiritual and socially coordinated. Your child also has value. Value of your child is beyond measure. As parent, do you know the worth of your child? However, we increase value by what we choose to do, know, allow or approve. Consent/approval of a parent to child’s career gives a very strong foundation to value. Your child has value such as intelligence, interest-level, talent, inquisitiveness, assimilating power, temperament and self-esteem which make him/her unique to you as parent, society and God. Your parental union with the child is God’s arrangement to search, add, increase and support the value you will discover or have discovered. Therefore, parents are natural guide and coach for children. They see things in a different way above and better than the children. What you see as value in them will surely affect their career; for career builds on one’s value. To discover value of a child, endeavour to know about the career choice of your child. Career choice begins from the first year on earth when future formation begins. The child with brighter future starts from the four corner of the house.
SOME PARENTS’ PERSPECTIVE ON CHILD CAREER
Wrong perspective on value affects career. That is why some parents, beside their roles as tutor, still enforce their wishes on child/ward because of wrong or bias promotion earlier conceived such as:
• • The dignity and prestige a particular career has in the society
• Their family dynasty of a career.
• Shame and penury attached to some careers
• Illiteracy and ignorance of the parents.
• Their friends' children also choose the career
• The future risk and threat on job security
• Wrong advice from quack counsellors
• The overjoy of having a child at the stage of choosing career
• Little information about the career
• Spiritual intonation and divinity from spiritists
• Pale traits and unstable skills discovered when the child was a kid
• Transfer of aggression because of singleness and divorce
• Vengeance on the child’s disloyalty – a payback moment
• Deliberate confusion
• The only child syndrome and so onParents/guardians are not always right. It is a fact. The ability to guide a child to a successful career makes a parent right. Career is life. Any mistake done will be managed for life. Before a parent can talk about choosing a career for a child, he/she/they must know that they are the best coach on the best pitch (home), seasonal tutor from birth, initiator of good ideas, and positive passion stirrer. If they know this, they will take time to invest in the child before the time to choose career comes near. However, the parents can still stand their ground to influence the career choice of their child positively without force or undue duress. Parents see the future before they talk. The children dream the future before they choose. Therefore, the parent should guide from the rear end with seasoned experience to meet the child at his/her crossroad in order to have equilibrium decision for a successful career. Your effort at this stage will add values, if it is well initiated and presented.
CAREER GUIDE - EXTRA FUNCTIONAL ROLE OF PARENTS THAT ADDS VALUE
Parents/guardians have functional roles to play in choice of career as they are listed below:
1. Parents/guardians are to watch out for the best of their children from cradle to adolescent under close and open supervision with purpose of having solid facts to guide.
2. Parents/guardians are to discover the peak of the strength and the weak point of their children in order to help to improve before choice of career comes up.
3. Parents/guardians are to promote enthusiastic level, strong passion and enabling environment for their children through provision of educational materials, related video and audio documentaries, visitation to the office of a specialist on the class of ambition of your child and constant revision at home.
4. Parents/guardians are to study to compare the intellectual and academic performance of the child to the personality traits/skills displayed at home, for inborn traits have great impact in choosing career.
5. Parents/guardians are to guide the children according to the child's passion and interest, not to enforce.
6. Parents/guardians are to pray for God's leading every time issue of career comes up. We need to be careful at this point. If a parent is a spiritist, there will be imposition. Pray to God without any rituals and trust God for divine leading according to His word.
PARENT’S WISHES VERSE CHILD’S DREAM
When a parent is forceful on career, as a child, do not act as you propose. Take a deep breath and listen to my counsel.
1. Do not fight back.
2. Do not insult your parents.
3. Do not say “they hate me”, “they are not my good parents”, “they are wishing me evil”, etc.
4. Be calm and be reasonable with their choice of career for you. God uses parents to guide their children.
5. Seek professional advice from your teacher, school counselor or anyone on the class of your ambition.
6. Show your passion and love for the career through your inventions, discoveries, habitual reading, comments, discussions and relationships at home and in the school.
7. Study hard – this is a crystal clear measure to vindicate you.
8. Prove your choice of career through good results in the school.
9. Provide materials that can educate your parent about your career – the good, the bad and the ugly that are manageable.
10. Re-table the career issue with your parent again when they are happy with you.
11. Pray at all times over the issue that God will guide your parents/guardians to lead you aright.
Pastor Allen Olatunde
Chaplain, Patterson Memorial Baptist Grammar School, Abeokuta, Nigeria